Our Kind of Crazy

Parenting…Second Time Around I live in a strange world. It is a world of dichotomies. My world involves Tosh.0 on one television set, while Phineas and Ferb are up to their crazy adventures on another. My home is a land of juice boxes on the front porch and red beer pong cups on the back porch. The flowerbeds host stained popsicle sticks alongside a soggy cigarette butt (that I know doesn’t belong to me, my husband or the mailman).My driveway lays waste to pink bicycles with training wheels lined up beside assorted cool cars and rusty trucks being worked on by young mechanics. We have teen foragers in the kitchen crunching cereal at 3 am, with cereal again at 7 am for the school aged bunch. Together with my husband Chris, we have embarked on what we like to call Parenting…Second Time Around. (Insert dark music here) Our children’s ages are as follows: 8, 9, 10, 12,18,19,19, 23, and 24. The twenty four year old does not live at home, so at the moment we only have eight children. (Only?) For a period of time there were only seven, but one boomeranged back home after a summer of adventures (we’d rather not talk about it). Five of our children are biological, and four of our children are adopted. I don’t think I mentioned that we are also foster parents, and we have recently begun fostering babies aged zero to two. I know what you are thinking…but, like our son’s summer of (mis) adventures, we are not going to go there either. Living this kind of crazy has its upsides. For instance, a discussion between us and he-who-shall-not-be-named over the use of a car (we said no), normally may have been filled with angry tones, a possible expletive concluded with a slammed door or a dramatic exit. Instead, the denied car-borrower walked into the next room, where a loving seven year old sister approached him, said hi and hugged him. The tension immediately disappeared, followed by a hug back and a sigh. Situation-diverted. Another upside? Where else would you find a nineteen year old sitting in the living room, somehow finding himself watching a Barbie movie, and yelling into the kitchen, “Should they be watching this? It seems inappropriate.” A future concerned dad is born. Parenting second time around must involve patience, energy and humour. In many ways it is easier…we are more experienced and laid back. We’ve navigated many a parent/teacher interview and know our way around every childhood illness possible. In other ways, it can be challenging…we have to work hard to avoid the ‘been there, done that’ mindset. Yes, we’ve already had the puppies, kittens, pet birds, hamsters, guinea pigs, turtles and lizards. But they haven’t. Yes, we’ve been to the ocean, amusement park and road trips across Canada. But they haven’t. We are discovering that doing the same activities through a different lens keeps us young, although we have definitely earned our pillows at the end of a day. Parenting second time around is not for the weak-of-heart, but I highly recommend it. I get to hang out with cool young parents. It gives me an excuse to keep coaching, help in classrooms and Brownie lead. It forces me to get out of the house when I normally might have stayed in to watch another rerun of Modern Family with glass of wine in hand. Parenting second time around ensures that I at least feel that I've earned that post homework/bath/story/bedtime glass of wine followed by my desperately needed pillow time.